Differently Beautiful

I want to remember ultimately that it is not me vs. sastra. It is not me against sastra. Ultimately sastra and I are on the same side. The previous acharyas and I are on the same side. Srila Prabhupada and I are on the same side. When I enter into reading and attempting to understand sastra from that view point, I tend to see things a little differently. 

Once, I was talking to Nandi, my daughter, and she was describing someone. She was lost for words for a moment, and she twisted her face up as though she has tasted something bad just thinking of the correct word that she wanted to use. “They were differently beautiful.” She said. I began to laugh and then she elaborated. “I don’t like the word ugly when thinking about people. Because I think ugly is when’s someone makes a bad fashion choice. Or when their personality just isn’t so nice. But ugly has nothing to do with looks.” I realized that she had twisted up her face not because of someone’s appearance, but because she found it sour that she lacked the language for what she wanted to convey. 

Spiritual truths often lay beyond what we have language for. There are many sanskrit words and terms and feelings that simply do not have an English equivalent, but those wonderful guides and spiritual teachers have tried to make do in the best way possible to convey the idea with words that we might understand. 

Intelligence is one such word. Am I more intelligent or less intelligent? I think it depends on how we are measuring intelligence. Can I calculate high level science equations? No. If you tried to make me I would cry and wonder why you were trying to torture me to death. But can I understand and comprehend deep emotions and their impacts on myself and others? Yes. Absolutely. So in that case, I’m emotionally intelligent. But maybe not science intelligent. Am I battle intelligence? No. Much to my own dismay I am not an archery savvy warrior princess who can sneak like a ninja AND also debate emotional philosophy. So I am not battle intelligent. But can I cook you an amazing meal with or without grains and figure out what spice is missing from a dish just from the taste? Yes. So I am culinary-intelligent. 

My point is, when I look at sastra from the angle of “Sastra is always and forever on my side”, I begin to understand that as Nandi would categorize some people as differently beautiful, then I am differently intelligent. So when we hear that certain genders or classes of people are “less intelligent” or now as I would like to think “differently intelligent”, I can understand that a qualified brahmin would be able to start fires with mantra and create missiles with sound vibration. Yes I willingly accept that I am not intelligent like them. But I am intelligent in the ways of prayer. I can pray and I can become an expert at prayer. When I understand that there is a wealth of expression out there that is often poorly translated into words, I can understand that none of us are ever really less intelligent. We are all differently intelligent. And no matter how differently intelligent we are, there will never be anything that will stop Krishna from showing us His mercy and His loving hand in our lives. 

Bhakti-yoga is meant for those whose hearts are cleansed, not for the lusty and greedy. Of course, those who are lusty and greedy may try to advance, and gradually they may do so, but once one is situated in bhakti-yoga there is no more lust or greed. Viraktir anyatra ca (Bhāgavatam 11.2.42). This is the test – when one is free from lusty desires and greed, then he is situated in bhakti-yoga and is actually a paramahaṁsa. Kuntīdevī humbly submits, “You are meant for the paramahaṁsas and munis, those who are cleansed in heart and are engaged in bhakti-yoga. But what are we? We are simply women. We are in a lower class. How can we understand You?” Although she understands everything, she still takes the position of an ordinary woman and says, “How can I understand You?” This is humility.

—Teachings of Queen Kunti ch.3 

Society may force the distinctions of rich or poor, ugly or beautiful, smart or unintelligent on us. Society may try to make us use such divisive language. But I can always remember that it is not me against sastra. Sastra wants me to remember that no matter how simple Queen Kunti said she was, nothing was going to stop Krishna from appearing before her. No matter what our fears tell us we are, whether we are rocket science intelligent, or emotionally intelligent, Krishna will never let anything stand in between His mercy and me. 

Your simple, differently intelligent servant

Acyuta Gopi